I've been on a fairly good run of successful projects lately. My repairs and improvements have worked out really well, despite the poltergeist. But now, I'm going to share what shall now be referred as the Day of Days. A very simple repair project became a horror show.

Let me walk you through it, warts and all. Join me in the experience.

Prologue: 

I'd started replacing the entire, leaking drip irrigation system in the back yard a couple weeks ago. The trench was complete, but I had to pull off the project to deal with the emergency water heater replacement (which didn't exactly go smoothly, but was still was a quick success).

Murphy's Law:

Anything that can go wrong will go wrong.

AZ DIY Guy's question:

Awwww... what now?

The Day of Days

7:05 AM:

 After a quick cup of strong, black coffee to get me going,

I merrily began rolling 1/2" tubing, the backbone of the irrigation system, into the trench. When I say "merrily", I mean I was actually happily puttering along while whistling a tune (AC/DC's Iron Man, for some reason) and listening to the birds chirping in the palm trees overhead. It was early and the kids were asleep. It was still cool out. Life was good.

7:15 AM:

7:25 AM:

 It was 50' around the corner, to the fence where the existing line had been cut and capped a week earlier. 

Moisture. Evidence of a leak from the 7:00 am watering schedule. It must have been leaking like this for over a week. What a waste of precious water. I guess I hadn't capped it very well, although it did feel pretty tight. It wasn't a really critical issue, since it would be fixed with the coupling anyway. I think I'd stopped whistling at this point and had moved to some light humming.

7:30 AM:

 I'd only purchased one end cap, and since this one felt snug, I strolled around the house to turn on the system manually so I could see how it was leaking. On they way, I thought maybe I should go in to grab the iPod so I could dispense with all this humming and whistling stuff. If I was to slip back into Christmas carols, the neighbors might overhear and question the validity of my Man-Card. 

At the irrigation controller, near the in-ground valve, I stopped my humming. If this had been a TV show, this would be the part where you'd hear that needle on the record player scratch....

What now?

Lots of moisture. A leak from around the valve,... and a big one by the looks of it. Honestly, the first thing that went through my head was that I'd rebuilt this whole thing a year and a half ago. I'd screwed it up somehow. This was going to be embarrassing. Darn it.

In my expert opinion, this is "not good".

8:00 AM: 

Everyone should have a Wet-Dry Vac. I dug out the valves, turned on the system, drained the resulting flood of water from the hole, and emptied the vacuum. I repeated this process three times, trying to find the leak, each time digging deeper and wider, bringing more muck out of the hole.

 (TIP: Remember to remove the filter from the vac first when you are sucking water or you'll wreck the filter.)

8:10 AM:

 Finally, I found it. There's good news and bad news. Good news first, it was a cracked water filter fitting. I didn't screw it up last time - not my fault !!! The bad news was that I'd have to buy a new one, cut part of the assembly apart and rebuild it. 

It's a gusher!

I don't often get muddy in the desert, but when I do,... it's irrigation mud.

8:30 AM:

I took the affected portion apart. The filter assembly completely broke in two at the crack. I took the whole thing with me to the Home Depot to find a replacement.

A super comfortable position to work in.

9:10 AM:

Back with the new hardware, I started rebuilding the system. I wrapped the treads with Teflon tape and screwed the parts together, nice and tight.

If you compare these two photos, you may note where I went horribly awry. I didn't realize there was photographic evidence of the mistake that would later cause a great deal of foul language. At this point I was confidently, quickly "fixing" the problem.

Like an idiot.

Clue: The black tube with a white collar is a "flow limiter". I moved it from the old filter to the new one.

9:50 AM:

Dang, if I wasn't a single coupling short. I ran up to Ace Hardware and grabbed one. It was easy enough to get the whole contraption spun back together and glued in place.

10:00 AM:

Finally! The Line was fixed. I popped he new filter into its proper spot.

10:05 AM:

I fired the system up, heard the valves click open and,....

NOTHING. 

Not a drop of water came out of the drippers. What he heck? Then, there was a spray from the hole again. Ahhhhh,... crap.

I'm embarrassed to admit it took me a few minutes to figure out my error.

Photo key:

• Yellow Arrows: water geysers (not preferred)
• Green Arrow: the word "out" as in "out-flow" or "water is supposed to flow out here. You installed it backwards, you dumb-ass!"

It had been one of those moments of absolute idiocy. I'd let my confidence get ahead of me. I'd relaxed. I had concentrated on getting the thing threaded tightly back together and heading back to work on the back yard. I had simply not paid a shred of attention to which direction the flow limiter went on. All I needed to do was read the dang thing,...nope; I'm too cool for school.

Forget the neighbors hearing me hum Christmas carols; if they were within earshot, they heard some other choice selections from the deepest recesses of my vocabulary repertoire.

10:30 AM: 

With no room to fit yet another coupling and no certainty that I hadn't wrecked the limiter, it was time for Home Depot trip #2. I picked up a new flow limiter / filter combo to save some room. I bought twice as many PVC fittings as I might need as well as a two foot stick of straight pipe. I even grabbed a new solenoid because I had noticed the old one was letting a little drippage  slip though. I wanted to be D.O.N.E. and not mess with this again anytime soon.

FYI: That's not the cool kind of sunshine beating down on me.

11:25 AM:

I had the whole thing reassembled, wired up the new solenoid and fired the system up. It was lovely. Of course it didn't work, not a bit, but it looked good. I'd brought the wrong God-forsaken solenoid. Home Depot Trip #3.

11:55 AM:

I jogged from the truck straight to the valve and quickly threaded the correct solenoid into place.

My friends, there are times....                          

                                              ... words escape me.

When the solenoid threads snapped off the valve body, I just...  I just...

I just... stat there dumbfounded. Of course it broke,...of course. It was the Day of Days.

You've got to be kidding!

I didn't curse. I wasn't even mad. I was beyond it. I was an automaton, silent and dead inside as I trudged back to the truck, off to Home Depot trip #4.

12:45 PM:

 I'd picked up a new valve with an attached solenoid. I'd simply swap the tops of the valves out so I wouldn't have to cut my pipework up again. Same brand, same screw pattern. Piece of cake.

"... and I'll just swap this do-hickey here, with that do-hickey there..."

1:10 PM:

Com-freaking-pletely incompatible valve parts. I had to walk away and eat something before I launched the new valve though the windshield of my truck.

Time out.

1:35 PM:

The hacksaw tasted PVC again, tearing down the assembly for the third time. I began rebuilding it for the third freaking time. 

It's a little more comfortable kneeling on a Spider Man towel

2:20 PM:

Finally. Done. It works. No leaks.

I left the hole open to dry out, cleaned up my tools and trash, and drug my sweaty, mud covered carcass into the air conditioned castle. There was no way I was going to work in the back yard after this debacle. Murphy's Law was obviously waiting for me and if I had to go to Home Depot again, they'd probably think I'm shoplifting.

Later. I'll fill it in later.

I'd made it through the day without punching or throwing anything. Not that I've ever been short-fused, but this day was a test and a half to my. I think I'm mellowing as I mature. 

The Day of Days. Obviously, I'm not a sugar coating, action-hero DIY blogger who gets everything right the first time (or edits it to look that way). 

I hope your next project runs more smoothly my friends.