Necessity has once again led us to fail in keeping to our Strategic Doctrine of Inside-Out Home Renovation. The swimming pool continues to be unusable. First world problems right?

Wrong.

Access to a swimming pool is a requirement here in the fierce desert southwest. In fact, when you get off an airplane, they check your luggage, just to make sure you have your suit with you. The Border Patrol prowls the edges of the state, making sure anyone attempting to enter without towels, inflatable float toys, squirt guns, and a pair of swim goggles is promptly sent back the other direction. God forbid you try to bring children here in the summer without intending to routinely hurl them into the cool, refreshing embrace of a sparkling, chlorinated aquatic wonder at least once a day.

Whist most of the country is emerging, bleary-eyed, from their winter hibernation homes, blinking at the sunlight like pale zombies, basking in temperatures approaching 60 degrees, we're eyeballing the pool, with temperatures already tickling the low 90's. Oh, it's time.

Here's our issue. Our basic tract home was built in the late Classic Rock era, in 1979. We believe the pool was put in at that time, with a cassette tape of Pink Floyd's The Wall blaring on the boom box as the hole was dug. Approaching 40 years later, time and idiocy have taken their toll on the ol' swimmin' hole in our back yard.

I did win the battle of Dagobah, where the pool was regularly turning into a fetid swamp of yellow and green algae; we installed a new cartridge filter, an energy efficient pump, and a high-tech salt water chlorination cell. I can keep the water clear, so that is battle is indeed won. Unfortunately, the overall war has been lost. Black algae, the supreme force of the dark-side has taken over. Despite my efforts, it has multiplied and cannot be eradicated. It's a rock-hard bastard. with its tendrils sunk deep within the porous, aged pool walls. The pool itself is starting to disintegrate and the decking is a mess. I surrender.

Black algae. The bastard of the deep. Once you have it, you have it for good.

The white plastered finish is really only supposed to last about 10 years or so. This is in such bad shape that we think it my be original, or perhaps a late 1980's application. It was bad when we bought it, and we've been here 9 years. It's no longer smooth, but pitted and chipping away.

I found that Sylvan Pools  isn't even in business anymore.

That's not all folks. The pool deck is a big problem. If we're going to fix the inside, it only makes sense to fix the deck too. As you may have noticed, some previous owner / mental giant who was my DIY predecessor around here, decided to cover the "cool deck" with a not-so-cool-deck. They cemented some sort of porous stone over the original, professionally installed deck.

Fugly. Just plain fugly.

This mystery stone, has exciting benefits:

• It looks like it shouldn't be slippery, but it is.
• Also unlike Cool-Deck, it's actually so freaking hot that you can fry an egg on it in the summertime. Of course eggs are so much more susceptible than tender, bare human feet. Conversations that take place as we approach our pool for a swim normally start like this, "Ouch! ouch! ouch! ouch! (SPLASH!)" 
• It's not the stone's fault, but it's poorly installed. There are surprise trip hazards, weird uneven edges, and as an bonus feature, it slopes towards the house so water can pool there. You know how great it is for a house to have water wicking into wooden walls. This slope also offers the excitement of pooling water near the egress gate, just to ensure exiting is a slippery challenge.

My wife even slipped trying to go though the pool gate recently. She was wearing tennis shoes, but still lost her footing. She caught herself, but cut her hand on the latch.

This mystery stone is even wrapped over the edge of the pool. Just like the walking surface, it's poorly done. Like our roof, it's likely the product of weekend warrior DIY'ers like myself, but also under the effect of gallons of cheap beer.

Just a sharp enough edge to avoid bruising by splitting the skin. Handy.

I know there's some semblance of an original deck below this covering. I can see it at various points on the outside edge. It's sort of an orangey-pinkish color. 

Another item is the diving board. We use it; we love it. But, it's probably a death trap. Diving pools are rare around here, most new installs are shallow "play pools". Our pool is really too small for proper diving, even though it is ten feet at its deepest. It's fairly old. The fiberglass creaks and the base is loose and rusting.

We'll miss it, but it's best to get the liability out of our yard. The last thing we need is someone getting hurt on it. It's been almost a year, but I'm confident I can still produce a proper cannon ball, even without a diving board.

C' Ballin' like a Boss.

Like a Boss.

We really don't have the funds ready to take on this project right now, but it's only going to get more expensive as it degrades. Plus, the pool is a huge part of our summer cooling and entertainment around here. So much for a kitchen remodel this year, We're going to have to figure it out. I'm starting by bringing in the experts for ideas and price quotations. That's right, it looks like we're going to hire a pro for most of this. We've done it before. From my research, a lot of this is best done at the same time, saving tons of money in re-work and preventing possible damage to whatever was done first.

Pool Interior:

1. Get rid of the black algae for good. Is that an acid wash thing?
2. Repairing or resurfacing. There may be some sort of coating available. Perhaps it's a tear out and replacement with the same white "plaster" coating, or maybe we'll try some of the pebble finish products.
3. We're going to get information about replacing the water-line tile that's calcified, and ugly. 
4. Perhaps an auto leveling device can be added. These widgets keep the pool full when the summer is evaporating the water at an unbelievable rate.

Pool Exterior:

1. Pool Deck. It needs to be fixed so it's not so hot and slippery to walk on. It's a hazard and it's hideous looking.
2. Remove the diving board. We thought a slide would be fun, but we can't have anything visible above the fence line that will block the neighbor's view of the mountain.
3. Landscaping / entertainment features. We'd like to add some furniture, an umbrella stand, and who knows what else to beautify this stark area. We need some good lighting for evening swimming as well. 
4. Equipment Screen. We need to come up with some kind of screen to hide the mechanical equipment. Not only is it kind of an eyesore, but it needs to be protected from the sun.

A gorgeous piece of landscaping art, right?

I'm ready to dive in to this project. The patio roof is about cave-in too, so I think I'm going to be on outdoor project mode for a bit, just in time for triple digit temperatures,   too.