We get a ton of sunny days here in Arizona, but July brings the Monsoon season. It's still pretty good weather (aside from an average temperature of 104°F with spikes above 110°) but there's still the occasional rain and or dust storm action.

We got absolutely hammered this week. I managed to get the top up on the Miata, dodge around some small tree limbs and slide into the garage, just before the worst of it hit.

There are some cool pictures circulating online of the micro-burst absolutely plowing us. It looks like we got nuked.

Our only loss was this spiny cactus. It's an ugly little fellow, but still not something I wanted to loose. 

I thought it was a loss. I'd have to slice it up, like the mighty saguaro that toppled in the back yard a few years back. I figured I'd at least try something, so I reached out to a local garden blogger AZ Plant Lady (no relation) via Twitter.

@azdiyguy Hi John. You can certainly try. Move it away from the dripping sap from the mesquite. Water a month after planting. Good Luck! — Noelle Johnson (@azplantlady) July 19, 2016

I'd certainly try. If it fails, it fails. Here's the fun part. It's a freaking-heavy water filled sponge that weighs about 200 lbs. It's also covered in sharp spines. Perfect!

Since the spines have been known to punch through gloves and boots in the past, I MacGyver'd a custom, high-tech cactus maneuvering tool onto the top and attempted to keep my unprotected body from being clobbered by the big log of doom.

I muscled it to a hand truck  and lashed it on with bungee cords. I gave it a once-over to determine if it was too damaged to go any further. It seemed ok, just a little battered.

I dug a shallow hole further towards the front, away from the tree and poured in a little potting mix. I stirred in a bit of the existing soil too. I don't knows if this will help; I really don't know what I'm doing here after all. It seems like native plants probably don't want 100% potting mix, but an uprooted one might just want some tasty vitamins an minerals, right?

I utilized an adjustable, temporary cactus bracing tool to hold the beast up. My MacGyvering clearly knows no boundaries. 

Surprisingly, maneuvering a heavy, awkward-shaped, spine-covered desert beast into a shallow hole from a two-wheeled conveyance while roasting in Phoenix in July is a somewhat challenging operation. Who'd have guessed?

With the late-morning sun chewing on my flesh and the temp already clearing 106°. I was more than ready to be done. I pounded some stakes with Mighty Mjölnir (Wow, a second trip to the glossary in one post!) and braced the cactus with some scrap wood strips. 

I did consider pounding some big metal rods deeply around the cactus for bracing, but this is the side of the house that our electrical service is fed from. It's an underground service feed; I don't know where it is. Understand that underground electrical is highly allergic to being pounded into by giant metal stakes. It tends to exhibit a strong, violent reaction.

I didn't feel like going to the hospital or morgue this weekend. So,.. shallow, wooden stakes then.

I half drove screws into the top of the scrap wood boards,... 

... and gingerly,  wrapped the whole assemblage with bungee cords. I only scratched myself a little. The screws kept them from sliding up. 

Fill in the shallow hole.

I put the lava rocks back against it. I guess it won't hurt and may give a little extra stability. 

Off came the "Let's Do This" bucket. 

AZ Plant Lady advised that I wait a month to water it. We'll see if Mother Nature complies.

Will it survive? Time will tell. 

Now, it's time to head back to that swimming pool.