Since Jack's rapidly approaching teenagerdom, it's time the lad starts picking up some mad handyman skills. My dad started letting me help with projects when I was about his age and I still remember those times fondly.
The two of us left the ladies behind and took a Friday night, before-bed trip down to grab door #4 for our interior door replacement project, this one for Jack's own room. He examined a couple from the top of the stack for dents and scratches before choosing a nice specimen from the middle of the stack.
..and slipped away, like ninjas into the night.
The two of us left the ladies behind and took a Friday night, before-bed trip down to grab door #4 for our interior door replacement project, this one for Jack's own room. He examined a couple from the top of the stack for dents and scratches before choosing a nice specimen from the middle of the stack.
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| Get that doggie rollin' |
He took charge of the six-wheeled beast-cart and headed out with the unmistakable din of rattling sheet metal and chattering caster wheels. He paused to treat me to some humor about what great stuff, Great Stuff is when we passed the display. Where does he get his goofball sense of humor anyway? We were having fun. Too much fun...
Folks, I'm just going to admit it; I let my guard down and paused like a slack-jawed yokel at the clearance rack. I should have known better to stop in such dangerous proximity to the kitchen section. Of course, I was immediately waylaid, out-of-the-blue by Mr.Smiling Clipboard Dude,
"Has anyone told you about what we're doing for customers tonight?"
CRAP! Amateur move, Mr. Smarty Pants DIY Guy. NO! No one had told me what they were doing for us customers tonight. I was snared like a gazelle drinking from the crocodile pond. Somehow, he sensed I'm a nice guy (chump) and I'd pleasantly engage in his conversation. I dutifully answered the questions about our kitchen and, ever so nicely, gave point-by-point details on our state of unhappiness with our cabinets and layout. I shared the plan for a total kitchen gut and re-model next year,... yes, including plumbing,... and electrical, ... aaaand new cabinets with taller uppers,...
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| You're going to have to sit this one out boy. Watch the master at work. |
We all know where this leads don't we? The pitch. It doesn't matter that I clearly, obviously have no reason to entertain his product; I just have to let him toss it out. But I know can still kick away from the crocodile. He's worked so hard, and I can't be rude in front of my son (or all those shiny new tools) can I? A slight pause, a friendly smile, and he lobs it:
"... consider cabinet re-facing" Yaaaaaaaay! We're almost done...
"Free in home estimate" Woooo-hooo! Now there's only my initial polite decline <kick> and his second, face-saving counter attack ...
"...just in case you want to consider it, as an option, anyway", offered with a kindly smile and an attempt to immediately schedule the estimator. I give my trusty standby, a pleasant second decline <kick> followed without pause by a quick, simultaneous thank-you / smile /cart acceleration, and finally the inevitable third decline mumbled over my shoulder as I depart <kick-kick-kick>. Checkmate. We're gone <run>. That's how it's done folks, it's a skill acquired by years of home center visits. I'm just glad my son was there to see it. (You may want to start easy, like a quick run of the dueling Cable TV vs. Satellite TV polo-shirted gauntlet in the back of Wal-Mart. This will sharpen your skills for the pro leagues)
We did a quick checkout, strapped down...
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Sure, I could have hired a pro to extricate me from the salesman, but I did it myself and saved. You can do it too! Teach your children well.